Pecan Pie

Social Anxiety from the South

I Think I Hate My Body

Which is stupid, right?

So, I had cosmetic surgery recently. I have a lot of feelings about it, not the least of which is-how does a body positive, sex and image advocate decide to do that?

And I know that post-surgery blues and questions are common.

Lamictal, yo.

But I realized at lunch today…alone, because I like to take myself out, a lot…that I think about my body constantly.

And not in a good way.

In an ever perfecting way.

Stand up straighter.
Walk more confident.
Pull up your jeans.
Suck in your stomach.
I think I have a gorgeous face. Beautiful hair. Awesome ass…and super cute feet.

Have you seen my legs?

But all together I think I hate it.

Why would I spend so much time criticizing it so much otherwise?

And I don’t think I should change.

I think you should change.

I think you should stop expecting women to look any type of way. I think you should stop over sexualizing female bodies and thinking that some ridiculous Photoshopped version of Jennifer Lawrence is ideal or even realfuckingistic. I think you should stop judging your worth by your pant size and see that you are an academic a mother a wife a teacher a motherfucking life changer and get on the bandwagon of your own goddamned self. This life you have is amazing and if you don’t press the gas, someone will stomp on the fucking brakes.


That’s it.

that’s to me. And you, if you need it.

That’s all.

Written by thelittlepecan

January 23, 2014 at 7:34 pm

Posted in Sociology

Tagged with , , , ,

2013 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,600 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 60 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Written by thelittlepecan

December 31, 2013 at 10:04 am

Posted in atheism

I Don’t Ever Want to Forget This Moment

Dear Mrs. Pecan,
I am a dual enrollment student, so I am now approaching the time to be submitting applications for colleges. I am currently in the process of completing my application for the University of North Carolina. I was wondering if you would be willing to write me a letter of recommendation to supplement my application.

I have chosen UNC as my first choice because of its outstanding sociology department, which I would not have been interested in without your guidance. Your class has opened my eyes to a world of social injustice and to the idea that there are factors that are out of control that determine a person’s social lot in life. I want to pursue a degree in sociology, and use that degree to make a difference in the life of others. Since you were the driving factor in my choice to pursue such a degree, I think you would be the perfect person to write this recommendation for me.
If you are willing to write this letter, I would greatly appreciate it if you could submit it to the common application program, for which I will send you the link, and also produce a few hard copies enclosed in an official envelope to conserve confidentiality.

Whether or not you choose to write a recommendation for me, I still thank you for the incredible experience I have gained from your class. I have learned more than I ever thought, and the things I have learned have inspired me to want to make a difference in society in whatever way I am capable. For that I am extremely thankful.
Thank you,
Amazing Student

Dear Student,
Fuck all, you made me cry. Where’s my damn pen?

Mrs. Pecan

Written by thelittlepecan

November 22, 2013 at 12:44 am

Posted in atheism

Out of the Mouths of (MY) Babes #Trans #Queer #LGBTQ

Sometimes…a lot of times…I think I am an awful parent.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am not one of those moms who lives for her children.  I am Pecan first, Penguin second, Mom third. My identity is really important to me.  In many ways that makes me act selfishly and I carry a hefty amount of guilt related to that for not being good enough as a mother.


Then, yesterday happens.


I had a friend come and speak to one of my classes about gender identity/discrimination/equality.  Class went great.  Hurray! No sweat and no surprise because my students are awesome.


What I didn’t expect was my children’s ability to grasp the exact same concepts without the benefit/burden of lecture, but just because apparently Jim and I do not suck as parents.


We watched Valentine Road.  Get on that. Seriously.


My friend who is trans* watched it with us.  We do “family night” where we watch educational material about equality and social justice issues and then we talk about them.


My sons were amazing. 


“Gender identity”


“Be who you are”


“Stand up for your friends”


“How is that not a hate crime?”

“He was taught to hate someone…and that’s wrong”


These are just a fraction of some of the things that came out of the mouths of my 11, 13 and 14 year olds.


Just a fraction.


They couldn’t have cared less about his gender identity and would never had known if we hadn’t had a discussion about it, they just loved having him over. But, they know that they know someone and they understand that makes their world bigger and better.


I saw more empathy from these boys than I have seen in a long time and it couldn’t have been more serendipitous.


I am grateful for so many things today.

Written by thelittlepecan

November 19, 2013 at 1:52 pm

Posted in atheism

Things I Did Not Respond to on Facebook Today

I decided, with some trepidation, to return to Facebook.  I have some rules for myself, though.  One is to not get involved in religious, political or otherwise contentious pissing contests.  In an effort to maintain my sanity, I’m going to try out a series whereby I passive-aggressively respond to the ridiculousness I see there here. That way, I can have my say and not burn down relationships with people I love.

Episode 1:

Well, at least they don’t list Mary Magdalene as a whore. I’m unsure why we would consider those who are short, have speech-impediments, are skeptical, drink or are aging to be imperfect.  It’s rife with all the -isms.  It also misses a golden opportunity to scream HYPOCRITE! to about 10 people who I’ve seen post this.

As a fat girl myself, I’m all for body/sex/fat positive stuff.  But that isn’t all a scale is telling you.  Especially since your “relationship” (mine is rather complicated, as evidenced by all my bruising.  Hey! come to think of it, I haven’t fallen down in a while) with gravity isn’t constant (see the moon) and your body fat percentage is what it is no matter what celestial body you happen to inhabit.

Dear people of the car rider line…your child shouldn’t need a teacher to open their door to get out of the car. SHOULD your child require this…park yo butt and stop holding the line up!

All the abelism…all of it.

and my favorite

Well, let’s talk about this…

2/3 of those who receive state benefits are children, the elderly and the disabled.  Another portion include veterans and the currently enlisted and their families.

Several studies, including a 1996 report from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, have found that there is no significant difference in the rate of illegal-drug use by welfare applicants and other people. Another study found that 70% of illegal-drug users between the age of 18 and 49 are employed full time.

Because poor people can’t afford drugs.
They drink.
A Florida television station, WFTV, reported that of the first 40 applicants tested, only two came up positive, and one of those was appealing. The state stands to save less than $240 a month if it denies benefits to the two applicants, but it had to pay $1,140 to the applicants who tested negative. The state will also have to spend considerably more to defend the policy in court.

And it’s unconstitutional because you have to have probably cause to search someone, it  can’t be preemptive.
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, writing for the majority, said that the drug testing was an unreasonable search. The state can impose drug tests in exceptional cases, when there is a public-safety need for them (as with bus and train operators, for instance). But the Fourth Amendment does not allow the state to diminish “personal privacy for a symbol’s sake,” the court said.

“The simple fact of seeking public assistance does not deprive a TANF applicant of the same constitutional protection from unreasonable searches that all other citizens enjoy,” the court held.
And for more
The reason your employer can make you take a drug test is because they are not the government and they are not bound by the Fourth Amendment. Don’t like being drug tested by your employer? Form a union and put it in the union contract that your employer cannot drug test you without probable cause. To simplify this, the government cannot search your person (peeing in a cup is searching your person) without probable cause. Being poor is not probable cause. Your employer has a fairly wide latitude of things that it can require as a condition of employment.
and this
Fact one, drug testing by the government without probable cause is in violation of the Fourth Amendment. Fact two, in the studies done so far, there is no benefit to performing these drug tests. Fact three, your employer is not the government and is not bound by the Fourth Amendment. Fact four, drug abuse is not just restricted to the poor. It goes across all social classes, and just because the poor have no voice does not mean that they can be made into scapegoats.
Thanks for reading and more coming soon…

Written by thelittlepecan

November 6, 2013 at 11:35 am

Allstate 13.1

Well, I signed up for it to get my ass in gear.

Because my summer has sucked for training. I hated the heat. My family life was completely chaotic. I’ve struggled to get back on track.

I was already committed to a 5k my sister was a part of organizing. I had a great time, so decided to go with my love for racing and sign up for a 10k (which was weird and awful to run, but I placed!) and this half-marathon.

I hurt. I puked. I even used the port-a-John on course which I never do. However I did PR, which is a testament to the training I did through Fitz at before I got in a rut. I also have quit drinking completely so I’m a few pounds down, which is a great help.

It was a good race, beautiful weather, great volunteers and law enforcement (some cray-cray behind the wheel. A reminder to be patient on race day, people.)

I just wasn’t where I wanted to be. I will do what @tai_Fung says and bask in my 8:00 PR…and then get my ass in gear for Savannah.

Rock ‘n’ Roll, ‘r bust!

Written by thelittlepecan

October 6, 2013 at 12:59 pm

Posted in Running

Tagged with , ,

I Need a New House

Kids arguing. Whining. Scientifically the most annoying sound in the universe.


Written by thelittlepecan

September 30, 2013 at 4:38 pm

Posted in atheism


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