Calling out Asshattery; Misogyny and anti-Atheism
Daniel Fincke over at Camels With Hammers has a really great post today about Schrödinger’s Rapist, an article written by a woman explaining to men that, while we understand you “probably” wish us no ill will, our entire lives have been cultivated by a society of patriarchy, rapist sympathy and virgin v. vamp mentality that makes it really hard for many of us to just accept your platonic advances.
Many of us have experienced so many overt, unwanted, sexually over-toned encounters that being a bitch to you is just second nature. Many of us have been sexually assaulted multiple times and often by men who started off by “just being friendly.’
However, and I think this is where the libertarian/anarchist influence of my wonderful partner comes in; I’m not big on making people conform. I’d much rather restrict the social capital so severely of those who refuse to progress that it makes it so advantageous for them to change that they do. They have to. Evolution at work!
Disclaimer: I don’t mean for businesses, or government, or public spaces…those things should always be free of prejudice and comfortable for all people to be in, no matter their gender, race, creed, and yada yada yada.
I’m into…shaming or calling out, for lack of better terms (sort of like Greta does here when misogyny rears its super ugly head on her blog) when people act like asshats.
Here’s the thing. People are going to be jerkfaces. Fact.O’.Nature.
The only way to get them to stop is to remove so much social capital that they can’t help but change. I’m usually not into shaming, ostracizing or “othering”; goes against my social science nature and against my empathetic handicap that keeps me from getting in the face of f*ckwads many, many a day.
That does not mean I don’t think it doesn’t have its place.
So may negatives, so little blog space.
I’m not sure that men who can’t realize their actions might be taken out of context should change. I’m certain that minority races should not change for my white, overly privileged benefit and I doubt that evangelical fundamentalists will ever change to make me more comfy.
So be it.
Don’t change. (If you’re a person of color, please don’t change. Any Caucasian who crosses the street on looks alone can go eff themselves.)
Here’s the thing.
If you’re a dude and you’re making me uncomfortable…I’m gonna be a first class bitch to you. And yanno what? You should be okay with that. If you’re not, I’m okay with that. I’ve got a place to rant about my experience and shame you to def on the interwebz. I’ve been groped too many times in a bar, raped by too many men who were my “friends” or “lovers” and been too often shamed myself into laughing at your chauvinistic and really bad (if I may say so) jokes at the expense of myself. So, I’m just sayin’, Bless your heart…bitch.
And…if you’re an intolerant fundamentalist, well, guess what? We’re here, we love the queers, we lost the “god-fearin'” part a long time ago and, well, you should probably get used to it.
The world will.
In the end, it’ll be you bitching about being the minority and you know what?
I’ll probably stand up for you that day…
Even though you’d never stand up for me.